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Short Film Treatment Sample
Title of Short Film
A watchful eye and hand to protect her from this world


What will happen if you easily trust thing you heard instead of thing you see.


You should listen to someone who is older than you.

Original Story

This story adapted by Hobnail. It is a story that emphasis on the element of protection between mother and daughter.


1) Melrose: She is the protagonist. An 18 years old teenager has been raised by her father after her mother’s death. She does not like to be control of anyone. Therefore, she tends to be rebellious sometimes.

2) John: He is the antagonist. The father of Melrose, working in a church as priest. He is so protective, especially when it comes to his daughter. He has a decisive manner; it shows when he has always controlled Melrose life.


Since a child, Melrose never leaves her father. Her every day routine is always going to school and helping her father by doing chores at home. One day, during dinner, she tells her father about her desire to join for a trip with friends. Her father harshly refuses to let Melrose joining the trip. Consequently, they start fighting and Melrose decides to run away from home.
As soon as she arrives at the bus stop, she rides a bus without knowing where the bus is going. There is only one guy wearing hoodie sit at the back. After half an hour journey, she feels the winds blow her hair even though all the windows are close. It makes her feel anxious. Once in a while her eyes will stare at the mirror of the driver side. After few stares she saw a driver without head. After few blinks all that is just an imagination of her. Then she turns at the back. No one’s there anymore. When she turns around, the guys with hoodie are sitting beside her with holding an axe.
After a few screams she sees the lights and there is her father’s car come from the opposite way. When the lights become closer, she realized she still in the house prepare for dinner. She is glued with the strange vision. However she feels thankful when sees her father beside her.
Major Conflicts

Melrose vs Father- The conflict between Melrose and her father is when the father unwilling to let Melrose go for a trip with her friends. For that reason, they start fighting and create distance between father and daughter. The situations define the characteristic of the father, when trying to protect her child.

Melrose vs The World- It shows when Melrose gets rebels for a freedom and wants to go out of her world. Unfortunately, she experiences bad elements on her first step to it. It demonstrates what has in the reality of the world. It is not easy as she expects. She has to struggle to get out of the evil strange world and finally knows her mistakes and understands the protectiveness of her father.


Classical narration develops always from side to side emotional motivation, i.e. by the will of a human nature and its struggle with obstacles towards a defined goal. This story has a few elements of it when Melrose defiant to chase her desire. This story is suitable for family because it is portrayed a relationship between father and daughter. It gives valuable lessons to them.  


Secure environment, safe place like home. Though, it also has the opposites of it which surrounded by dark strange evil people and brought you to feel the insecure environment.


It starts with the real world and then shifts to the other world of the future.

Target Audience

Teenagers age 14 to 20